I have been feeling so overwhelmed, and tired, and stressed, and just confused. I have a really challenging semester in many ways....harder classes and busier schedule than I probably have ever had. On top of that... work. But aside from all this school work and work, the Lord is asking for more time with me. I think it is no coincidence that He wants more of my time when I am beginning what will probably be my busiest and most difficult semester. But I have a hunger in my heart for more of Him. More quiet time with Him. More time in the Word with Him. More time in prayer with Him. Just more of Him! And it is still there. He challenged me to tithe my time...give 1/10th of my time to Him....that is 2 1/2 hours a day.
Wow....it has been harder than I thought it would be. And I have been failing. I have been trying to figure out a set time each day for that....someday's it is a piece of cake. Other days (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) it is nearly impossible. Needless to say, I have been spending time with Jesus but it has been rushed. It has been....well....not the 2 1/2 hours, that's for sure. Sometimes just 20 or 30 minutes...sometimes 10 minutes. And I know that he loves anytime that we give Him, but he wants more. But I am just struggling with how to give him more. In the back of my head, I also know that if I give Him the time, everything else will fall into place. I just have to trust Him and believe that.
So today, I had lunch plans with the girls, and after that I was going to spend the rest of the day working on homework until I had to go to work. Well...I ended up calling my mom which was good. I was venting to her my worries and feelings of being completely overwhelmed. And after that, I spent the afternoon with Jesus. It has been so awesome!! The Lord is good. He showed me a lot of things.
First of all.....He told me to relax. Stop freaking out about everything. He reminded me that he won't give me anything that I can't handle.
Then the ever so familiar verse from Philippians came to mind. For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13) I read that same verse from the amplified version...it says, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]."
I have been in this phase of looking up words in the dictionary....actually I don't think it's a phase, it's a new way that I like to read the Bible. I look up everything....even words that I know what they mean and am familiar with. It is AWESOME. God shows me so much more that way, and it usually ends up where I look up a word and from that definition I look up another word. It makes everything make more sense and so much more meaningful. You should try it out if that is something you don't when you are reading the Bible!
Anyway....I looked up the word sufficient. The definition I found was.....enough. Then I looked up the word sufficiency just for the heck of it. The definition for that.....the state or fact of being sufficient; adequate. On my own....without Him....I am not adequate. But I can be self-sufficient in Christ who is enough. I can't do it alone.
Woah. But there is more! :) And....I apologize for this being so long. I am just really excited and wanted to share with you what the Lord showed me! :)
I decided to go to the back of the Bible and look for verses about "worrying". In the process of doing that I saw the word "weary" and it really stood out to me. So instead I looked at the verses under weary. The first verse I read is Matthew 11:28-30....another verse I have read many times, but is perfect for me right now. It says:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
WOW. It was spot on what I needed to read.
But I wondered what exactly was meant by the word yoke. This is a familiar verse that I have read before, but I guess never took the time to really figure out what it meant. Yokes are what farmers use to bind their oxen together. So, yoke is a representation of labor, service and submission to authority. When the ones in charge are being harsh, yokes are oppressive....but in this verse the Lord tells us his commands are not burdensome. "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Here is the same scripture from the amplified version (I love the amplified version of the bible!)
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good--not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne." Matthew 11:28-30
In my head I knew these things to be true, but there is a difference in knowing and actually doing it. I am independent...I like to do things on my own. But truth is, I can't. I will fail miserably. I gave my burden to Jesus tonight. It was so heavy.... But it isn't mine anymore, it's in God's hands now. I don't know what will happen this semester, but I know it will be great! It will be challenging, but I have a good feeling about it. I have a peace that I didn't have before. I will succeed this semester!
Lord, come be my everything. Be my source of strength, joy, comfort, and happiness. Fill me with your knowledge and wisdom. Alone, I am not enough.
Again....sorry this is so long!
To end....I mentioned I went to lunch with some friends....we were celebrating Rachael's day of birth!! Her birthday was actually Wednesday, but not all of us could get together until Saturday! It was a lot of fun. We ate at Mr. Stirfry! It was pretty good.
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| The birthday girl! :) |
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| The group! Kelsey, Ari, Tay, and Rach! |
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| I had to add this photo just because! :) This lovely lady makes me so happy! She is always overflowing with joy and laughter. In fact, in this photo we were laughing! :) |
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