The Pursuit: i can't get it out of my head.

When people find out that I have a huge desire to go overseas I get many different reactions. "Awesome!" "Are you sure you want to do that?" "Why?" "Is it safe?" "You're brave!" And some people just shake their head...I don't really know what that means... haha!

Before I go on, I'm going to push the rewind button and share with you the moment when I felt as though the calling to missions overseas was placed on my heart.

I have always been interested in traveling and going new places I think...that I can remember of anyway. But I distinctly remember back in my freshman year of high school. I was at Acquire the Fire in Tulsa, Oklahoma. A representative was there from Global Expeditions to share about the different trips they had to offer. After hearing him speak and seeing the brochures my heart was pounding so fast. I wanted to jump up and down with excitement right then and there and scream "Take me, take me! I'll go right now!". I didn't though, but it was hard to contain my need to jump up and down with joy. And to think I got that excited just from hearing stories and seeing pictures of other people's experiences. That's when I knew at some point I was going somewhere....I had to. I didn't know when, I didn't know where, I just knew I was going to GO.

It wasn't until my freshman year of college (four years later) that I had my first opportunity to go. I was asked if I would be interested in going with a youth group here in Chanute and I don't think I hesitated for a second to say YES! My dream was finally coming true.

In March 2008 I was on a plane to the beautiful and wonderful country of Honduras. I really had no idea what to expect. At this point in my life I really hadn't been to too many places let alone leaving the US of A! I still haven't but my list of places I have been is slowly but surely growing. :) From the moment I stepped off the plane I couldn't believe that I was actually there...in Honduras....it was so surreal.

We weren't in Honduras but for 10 days but that 10 days was enough for me to not want to get back on the plane to come home. It was an incredible 10 days. It was enough for God to confirm in my heart that I was called to missions overseas. It was long enough for me to fall in love with the country. It was enough time for me to still miss Honduras to this day, 5 years later. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I am in a country for over a month. It still makes me smile just remembering my time in Honduras and dreaming of the day when I hopefully will have the chance to go back.

I don't know where I will go yet. I don't know how long term it will be. And I don't know when exactly I will have the opportunity to go next. But I do know that I am going and I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to that day. God has put this longing in my heart to GO that cannot be ignored no matter how much I try. Believe me I could come up with 101 excuses of why I shouldn't go, but there is one reason to go that is greater than those 101 reasons why I shouldn't. That reason is Jesus... To go to these countries (or maybe country) and be the hands and feet of Jesus... To love on the people and serve "the least of these".... To further the Kingdom of God.... That's reason enough for me to ignore the 100 reasons I should stay and GO!

I wish I could let those around me feel what I feel. Maybe then they would understand more of why I want to go, why I need to go, but unfortunately I can't. Thankfully even if they don't understand why, or they just don't want to leave, they are still supportive of me going which is amazing! This may seem a bit extreme but sometimes I feel like I am homesick for places I haven't even been yet. And it doesn't go away. Sometimes it's stronger than others, but it's always there in the back of my mind. It's been there for approximately 10 years....:)

The saying is "Home is where the heart is." A piece of my heart will always be in Kansas no matter where I go or how long I am gone. But I have this feeling there will be pieces of my heart left all over the nations and that puts a ginormous smile on my face!

And that's why I need to go. I can't get it off my mind. I can't get it out of my heart. Therefore, I must go.

The cool thing is, while I'm waiting God has given me so many amazing ministry opportunities right here in the states...in my hometown even. I don't know what I did to deserve it but I am so grateful. How blessed am I to be doing the things that I love and near my family...especially that cute nephew of mine! ;)

I. Am. Blessed. God is so good. (And I just can't stop smiling right now!)

Here are some pictures from my Honduras Trip in 2008!

The beach....right out our back door. We were lucky enough to spend a few days in this beautiful place. It was also my first time to see the ocean. :)

This is an embarrassing picture. But we got our hair braided. My hair was short so this was the only option for me. I took it out that night. But it was a cool experience!