I lay me down.

Plans.

Nothing in my life ever seems to go as planned. Things I say I will never do, I do. And vice versa.

Examples:
I was only going to go to Neosho for one year....I went two years.
I was planning on going to K-State....I'm at Washburn.
I thought I was going to graduate with a social work degree a year ago....I'm still in school.
I was bound and determined to graduate college in 4 years. I was doing everything I needed to do to make that happen....I'm in my 5th year and still have yet to graduate.
When moving into the Chi Alpha House, I was only planning on staying a year at most....I'm staying another year.

I could go on and on with a list of plans I have made in my life that haven't turned out anything like I thought it would. But....fortunately I can say, everything has worked out perfectly up to this point. Looking back I see how faithful God has been in my life. While even though I may not be doing what I had originally planned, the Lord has worked it out beautifully. I look at the people I have met and the experiences I have had that have changed and grown me to who I am today, and I know that God has worked it out just how he had it planned.

Everything I have done up to this point, is in preparation of the future....whatever that may be. I look over the past couple years, and I have grown so much in my walk with the Lord. I have made some incredible friends who pray for me, who encourage me, who challenge me. It is very evident to me that the Lord has had his hand in my life, working everything out for the best and for that I am so thankful. He knows you and I so well!

It can be a scary thing though. It's not always the easiest thing to do, to truly give your life to the Lord...for me anyway. But, it is absolutely the best thing I could ever do and I wouldn't change a thing! He has never failed me. He has never let me fall flat on my face. Instead he feels me with His peace. He gives me His joy. His strength. His happiness. And when I get down, He is always there to lift me up again!

God is really showing me to follow Him....to trust Him and his plan for my life. I can make all the plans I want, but ultimately my prayer is that I am obedient to Him and what He wants me to do. Where He leads me, I will follow.

There is a song on the Passion: White Flag CD that is kind of my theme song at the moment.
Here are the lyrics:

With this heart open wide

From the depths, from the heights

I will bring a sacrifice.

With these hands lifted high

Hear my song, hear my cry

I will bring a sacrifice.

I lay me down

I'm not my own

I belong to You alone

Lay me down, lay me down.

Hand on my heart

This much is true, 

There's no life apart from you

Lay me down, lay me down.

Letting go of my pride

Giving up all my rights

Take this life and let it shine

Take this life and let it shine

I lay me down 

I'm not my own

I belong to You alone

Lay me down, lay me down

Hand on my heart 

This much is true,

There's no life apart from you

Lay me down, lay me down

It will be my joy to say Your will,

Your way, always.

I know this verse is used allll the time. Sometimes, I think I hear it so many times, that I really lose sight of the meaning here....but here it is!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight."

-Proverbs 3:5-6-

spring is upon us.

Spring break has come, and is going. :(

It has been a wonderful, relaxing and chill break. I have thoroughly enjoyed it!! Breaks from school usually mean all of my housemates leave and I am one of the few left here. Kind of sad and depressing The house that I live in is HUGE....especially when there are only 3 people here. To be honest, I wasn't very excited for break. I was prepared to be super bored. The only thing I had planned was to work. And work in some homework here and there. I probably didn't do enough, and I will pay for it these next couple of weeks. It was totally worth it though! I needed a break.

I did a lot of reading. I read a book that I have been trying to read for months and months and it just hadn't happened. But I finally did it.....I read a book! And I have started another...the Hunger Games! :) I'm not very far into it at all, but so far so good....I have heard such great things about it! I am trying to limit myself though....I know that I could easily sit down and read all three books in a few days, but I can't allow myself to do that as much as I want to. To many other things to do!

Besides reading, I have had lots of good quality time with a very dear friend of mine. She is such a blessing to me. We have had several heart to heart conversations over break. Literally, I feel like we spent the whole week just talking, talking, and some more talking. We tried watching a movie one night, Midnight in Paris, but we both fell asleep! Whoops. We never did see the end of the movie.

St. Patty's Day!

Some of my favorite things right now (in no specific order):

• Words with Friends.
• Draw Something.
• Coffee.
• My Bible, at the moment specifically the book of John. This is always changing though. God is always showing me awesome things in the Word. 
• Passion: White Flag CD
• My new phone! :) 
• Surprising my family!
• The beautiful weather...both the rainy weather we had this past week, and the sunny weather we are having now!
• Having my friends back in town! :)

 Here are some pictures from my surprise trip home....nobody knew I was coming! I'm so sneaky.

I first went home where I knew my dad and dusty would be at home. Mom was still working.
I rang the doorbell and this is what they did.....they just looked at each other. With very confused looks on their faces, I heard one of them say, "is it Saturday??" haha
When I do come home it's almost always on Saturdays because of my work schedule! Funny guys.

It's hard to tell, but he took my dad's jacket and hung it up over the window. I stood
outside the door for a while before they finally unlocked the door. Welcome home to me! haha.

I made Dusty go with me to my mom's office so she wouldn't see my car. I hid behind Dusty and
when she opened the door he moved over to the side and there I was. Dusty makes a great wall! She was VERY surprised!

I love surprising people!!!! It's so fun! Later in the evening I went over to Dev and Kel's (they still didn't know I was in town). Dev was sitting on the couch watching tv and Kel was napping. When I rang the doorbell Devo looked over and saw me. Instead of getting up to unlock the door and let me in like most people would do, he just sat there completely ignoring me....must run in the family! Jordan on the other hand, I thought she was going to jump through the window. She was SO excited. Eventually, after having to stand outside again, Devin let me in.

Matthew happened to be in town which means....basketball time for the boys! They always play when he comes to town. So my mom, Kel, and I went along and walked while they played!

Somebody did not want their picture taken.

The best of friends.

Foul??

So fun to watch them. 

Recently, God has been wowing me with sunsets and beautiful skies! I. Love. It. His creation is simply beautiful. Here are some photos I have taken recently....

When I was leaving Chanute Thursday, the sun was shining. But I quickly ran into this....it 

down poured on me, but didn't last long. The sun found its way out again, but still a little cloudy.

And then....I drove through this! It was so beautiful though! I didn't think it would be a good idea
to take pictures while I was driving and while it was raining! :) But I wish you could of seen it. It was dark and
cloudy, but you could see the sun trying to make its way through. It was so pretty!! I loved it!

God always seems to make my drives to and from Topeka, what could be very boring drives as far as scenery is concerned, into something beautiful. He makes me smile! :)

white flag.

Last night, I came home from work to the best surprise. There was a little something in my mailbox. I get excited about mail anyway, but especially when there is a certain CD in there that I have been ever so patiently waiting for! I opened the box trying to contain my excitement at least a little. I get the package open to find this:

That's right, friends....the Passion: White Flag Cd had finally come...and it was a day early!! It wasn't supposed to be released until today!

 I have been looking forward to this day since, well, the day I left Passion. It's been a little over 3 months. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "really Kaci? It's a CD." And, "here she goes, talking about Passion again." I understand that...but it is so much more than just a CD. And it is so much more than just Passion. I wish I could explain better in words about how Passion has impacted my life in so many ways. It was so much more than just "another conference".

Think about something in your life that has impacted your life significantly! It changes you. You're not the same person after. You are forever changed. And because that "thing" whatever it may be has changed you, in most situations you are going to talk about it. You can't not talk about it.

For me, Passion was one of those life changing moments. I haven't been the same since. So many amazing things happened there, and I still can't believe I was there and a part of it. I am so so grateful that I had that opportunity. And I hope to go back. The Lord touched my heart in so many ways while there. In saying that, yes, I am going to talk about Passion a lot. I just can't help it.

The worship at Passion was incredible. I mean, anytime you have 45,000 people in a room singing at the top of their lungs, praising the Lord, and just going crazy....it is going to be powerful. As someone said, "It's a small glimpse of what heaven is going to be like!" That is the perfect way to describe it!

Now....I have a little piece of Passion here in Kansas, in my home. Literally! The CD was recorded at Passion. My voice is one of the 45,000 voices you here on the CD, crying out to God with all my heart. Raising my White Flag. Surrendering all I am to HIM! Lifting His name on high! God used the words of every song you will find on this CD to touch my heart. To speak to me. To experience Him in a deeper way. To be my anthem songs.

I'm not usually one to try and "sale" things to people. Actually, I never do that, but I think I am gonna have to change that today. haha I just want you to know in case you were wondering, it would be well worth the $12 to buy this CD. I just know the impact Passion has had on my life, and while you were not able to actually be there, this is a way to experience a piece of it! And when you buy the CD, I encourage you to go some place where it's just you and this CD....no distractions. Turn it up loud. Listen to the words. Sing the words. Cry out to God and see what happens!

Today has been a beautiful, beautiful day partly because of the weather outside, and partly because I have been listening to the CD on repeat...and probably will everyday for a while! It's just so good! This afternoon I put in my earphones, turned on my iPod (that way I wouldn't disturb my roommates) in my room, cranked up the sound, and I had a dance/worship/go crazy party...just me and Jesus. The only reason I am telling you that, because I realize that probably sounds silly to some people, but I encourage you to do the same. Who says you have to be in a room full of people to have praise and worship?!?! :) Maybe you have never done anything like that, just a warning: you might feel a little silly at first. But I promise once you get going, you won't even think about it. It'll be awesome. Let loose. Go crazy! And maybe lock your door... :)

Or, you could just crank it up and listen to it in your car. That works really well too! :)

"My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth."
Psalm 108:2-5

If you do buy the CD, let me know how you like it! I would love to hear your thoughts!

tug of war.

This past Sunday, I got to speak at my church in Chanute again. So. Much. Fun. AND....I get to do it again this Sunday! :) I think I could get used to this....any job openings?! ;)

Because I was talking on Sunday, I went home on Saturday. My plans for the day: finish preparing for Sunday and be productive in the homework area. As I was leaving Topeka, literally I was getting onto the highway, my phone rings. It's Devin. The Chanute girls basketball team was playing in Louisburg that night. If they won the game, they would then go to state. Him, Dustin and Kelli were all going. Devin wanted me to go. And of course my brother, of all people, wanted to go shopping. Still confused on that one, I didn't even know he liked shopping. I'm the girl of the family, and I don't even like shopping! haha. So they were making a day out of it...because Louisburg is so close to Kansas City they planned on shopping and eating somewhere meaning they were leaving Chanute around 12:30.

I told him I didn't know. Devo was not okay with that answer however. He kept trying to convince me to go...begging me to go, talk about peer pressure! ;) I told him I would think about it and that was the end of that conversation.

I get home, and Dusty is asking if I'm going to go with them, and then I have my dad begging me to stay home! Ahhh! You know the game tug of war? Well I felt the rope and my dad and Dustin/Devin were on both sides pulling me back and forth. I was torn. Part of me really wanted to go, but part of me knew that I should stay home and work on homework and prepare more for Sunday. In the end though, my brothers won. Of course. I am terrible at saying no to my brothers. My compromise for going....I would work on stuff on the car ride to KC. 

But there is a challenge with that. I get car sick if I read in a car. Hmmm....what to do. Oh! I got it....I take Dramamine on plane rides and long bus rides and it always works, why not take it now! Except, I didn't have any with me. I could of made a trip to Wal-Mart but they were getting ready to leave so I headed off to the Medicine Shoppe which is just a block from our house. Perfect!

I go in searching the shelves and couldn't find it. A lady asks me if she can help me find something, so I tell her what I'm looking for. They didn't have any Dramamine. Darn. But they did have the off brand. Yay! I make the purchase and off we go! Well, turns out the off brand of Dramamine affects me in a different way. It knocked me out. You know the feeling you get when you are up for 24 hours straight? That is exactly how I felt. We were at the mall when it really hit me....I was so out of it. It took everything in me to keep my eyes open. I was out of it for the rest of the night! Needless to say, my plan totally backfired. So much for that productive day!

But, I did have a really great time. Although I didn't get much done, and I felt exhausted, I am so glad I went. The girls won the game!!! It was such a fun game to watch. It was a close one the whole way through. It had been a while since I had been to a basketball game, I had missed it! I love the atmosphere and watching basketball.

I was able to stay up and finish up stuff for Sunday. Although I didn't feel quite as prepared as I would of liked to, it still went well. The second service went a lot better than the first one as far as my message is concerned, but my mom assures me they were both good. Or maybe she is just saying that because she has to?! ;)

Kel and I! We may have gotten matching shirts while shopping! :)
They looked so comfy neither of us could pass them up!

    Here are some very random and for no specific reason pictures! :)

My dear friend Ari is into trying strange things... :)
Personally, I think it looks like she is getting ready to drink a bunch of gnats or something. Ew. I had to document this moment!

Getting ready to try it...

Taking a drink...

Andddd she loved it!

Rach tasted it....I think she was a little unsure of it at first but I think she liked it.

This is the next drink she will be trying, or may have already tried....there are big chunks of stuff in there. Gross!
I did try the above drink (wasn't a fan), but I don't think I will be trying this one.

Even though she drinks strange things, I still love her! :)

Sooo....it is/was Oreo's 100th birthday so it was a must to take a picture of our oreo in celebration!
:)

LOVE!

When the 3 of us are together, there is ALWAYS lots of laughter!

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22