Sunday, March 17, 2013

my provider.

You know those times when God does something really cool and you can't help but smile and say thank you even though thank you really doesn't even begin to express how thankful you really are?

Right now I am in a weird situation. I am doing a lot of things and I have a lot of "jobs" but I'm not making a lot of money. I am by no means complaining about this, and actually I have been extremely blessed in what I am making and getting to do what I am doing. But the Lord has definitely been a part of it. And He is really teaching me to be completely and totally dependent upon Him in every area of my life.

A few years back I learned my lesson when it comes to finances. The money situation can be very stressful at times and can result in a lot of worry. God has taught me time and time again not to worry about money though.

There have been several situations where God has come through financially (as well as many other ways) in my life. There is one particular time though in which God blew me away and I was convinced and truly believed at that point that my God is a God who really does provide.

Urbana is a missions conference in St. Louis and the opportunity came for me to go on this trip with a friend. I am very into anything that has to do with missions so I was very interested. At the time though my job wasn't very consistent and I could never count on a steady paycheck. And when I did get a full paycheck it was hardly anything due to not getting many hours.

So I prayed a lot. Of course I really wanted to go, but I told God that I didn't want to go just because it was something I wanted to do. I wanted to go but only if He really wanted me to be there. I didn't want to be there on my own selfish terms. My parents weren't exactly thrilled that I was even considering spending the money (it was a bit pricey) when they knew I wasn't making much. So I prayed some more...a lot more. I was convinced that I was in fact supposed to go on this trip. And it was because God told me to go. So I said yes.

Once I said yes I found out that the church I was going to - keep in mind I hadn't been going there but for a couple of months if even that at this point, they were offering to pay so much of my way to go. I don't remember now the specifics but I do remember it being a pretty good portion of what was needed. A week before leaving on the trip though I was still short some money to pay for my share of the hotel room, gas money, and food while I was there.

I remember I was stressing about what I was going to do and my mom asked me how the finances were coming for the trip. I had a freak out moment. I broke down and started crying. In the midst of the crying I started praying. "God I don't understand how you can tell me to go on this trip but yet not provide the money." And then I realized I was being ridiculous. I was taking matters into my own hand, stressing myself out, and I was doubting God. So we chatted it out and I came to the conclusion that it was silly to worry about it, God had it covered, I needed to stop doubting Him. I knew without a doubt that he wanted me to be at that conference so I finally said "Alright God. You will come through somehow someway...I'm trusting you."

Wow...boy did He come through.

The next week I received 3 different checks, all were very unexpected! I don't remember where they all came from even. I know one of them was a bonus at work that I had no idea was coming (It was around Christmas time). I think I randomly received money from someone...maybe in a Christmas card or something? I'm not sure. All I know is I went to Urbana with enough money.

And guess how much I came home with?!! I had exactly $1.00 left. God had come through. And I was even able to buy the CD from the conference and a Starbucks drink. :) He provided in every way and more.

Since then, the Lord has always continued to come through for me in every way...and not just financially.

And he just keeps doing it!

Last Sunday I spoke at my church and after the service someone came up to me who I don't really know very well other than what her name is. We said a few words, she shook my hand, and she had something in her hand that she was putting in my hand. I looked down to see what it was...there sitting in my hand was $20.00 bill.

I was so in shock, I know I didn't give her the proper thanks that she deserved. What an unexpected blessing that was. It was just God reminding me once again that He really does care, He knows my needs, and He is a God who provides. I know this to be true not because of stories I have heard from other people (although I do love hearing those kind of stories), but I know that to be true from how He has come through in my life personally in so many ways I can't even list.

Whatever you may be struggling with today, whatever worries you may be consumed with, any financial concerns you may be burdened with... take them to God. He truly does care for you, and He is a God who provides.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

valentine's day=success.

Today is Valentine's Day. It was a lovely day for me.

I received a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, a nice card with such a sweet note written inside....

Not really.

:)

Something better happened though. I spent some time with Jesus and He once again, as he often does, reminded me how greatly I am loved by Him and how much he cares for me. No boyfriend, husband, closest friend, or family member can come close to loving me as much as Jesus does.

Yeah getting a bouquet of flowers or a gift of some sort from the person you love, that is great. I look forward to the day when I will have a Valentine, it will be wonderful I have no doubt.

But having Jesus in my life...that is way better. It's like having Valentine's Day every single day of the year for the rest of my life. I know my husband (whoever he may be) will love me and he will tell me that over and over all year long, year after year - or at least I hope :) - but I know that Jesus loves me and will continue to love me more than my husband (again...whoever he may be!) will ever be capable of. He showed that to me on the cross.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

God doesn't need us. He chooses us. He gave his life, on the cross, while we were still sinners. We didn't do anything to deserve it. That's how much He loves us. Christ dying on the cross...that's a gift to us. And nothing, nothing, can separate us from the love of God. You should open your bible and read Romans 8:38-39 and see for yourself. Nothing compares to the love of Jesus. Nothing.

:) I am loved by the King. And so are you.

Oh, and I got to spend the day with my nephew celebrating his 6 month birthday. That was pretty cool. We spent the day playing away, laughing, and boy did he talk my ear off! Really, he did! Of course it was baby talk, but apparently he had a lot to say. :)

I would call this Valentine's Day a success!



Friday, February 8, 2013

to be content.


A couple of weeks ago I was reading in Genesis 19. The verse in particular that jumped out of the page at me was verse 26. "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." The angel had specifically warned them in verse 17 not to look back.... "...one of them said, "Flee for your lives! Don't look back..." (Check out the full chapter to get all the details!)

Over and over I have been playing that over in my mind...Don't look back. The whole idea of these verses is to warn us believers not to become attached to, or take pleasure in the worldly things or we will experience God's wrath.

I kept thinking about contentment... A word I seem to hear a lot lately both in my life, and my friends, as this is something that several of us are working on. We are learning how to truly be content.

Then the light bulb went on in my head. I had a, "Duh, Kaci" moment for sure.

Being content doesn't have anything to do with where we are living, what we are doing, who we are with, how much money we have, or what job we have. The only way we can be content is in Jesus. When we are relying solely on him. We can't find true contentment anywhere else but through Jesus.

Read Phillippians 4:11-13. This is what it says.

"...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want, I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Lot's wife obviously had a fond attachment to Sodom. There was a part of her that didn't want to leave Sodom. She looked back.

I can't help but think of my life. Am I attached to where I am right now? I'm not saying it's bad to enjoy the things you are doing. The people who are in your life. Your job. But would I choose these things over Jesus? Do I look to them to find comfort, contentment, and joy?

I can say that I am content with where I am now, but I have to do a heart check to make sure it's not me being content because everything is going well. I have amazing jobs that I love, I'm near my family, not too far away from most of my friends, I have a car that gets me from place to place, and etc. But what happens when these things are taken away? What happens when things are not going so smoothly?

If Jesus calls me somewhere else next week, would I willingly go without looking back? I know the day is coming when I will be called away to somewhere that isn't Chanute. Maybe not next week, but it's coming at some point. It may be to a place I have never been, with people I don't know, in a place where I won't have much of anything.

Yes, it would be much easier for me to settle and stay here rather than go. But God doesn't want me to settle. That's what happens when we find our contentment in things and pleasures of this world. We settle. We stay where we are comfortable.

Remember Lot's wife. Would/will you look back? Is your contentment in your things, your job, money, or people? Or is it in Jesus?

Whether I have plenty or I am in need, I want to learn to be content in whatever circumstance I am in. In Phillippians we find the secret to being content. It's given to us plain as day. It is simply this, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

It doesn't say apart from Him, but through Him. Not with our own strength, but His.

We can't go searching for happiness, joy, comfort, peace, anywhere else. Everything you will find will only leave you empty. It may bring you happiness for a time, but eventually it will fade away. And we definitely can't rely on our strength alone. We must learn to depend on God to meet our needs and desires.

Everything we will ever need is found in Him. When Jesus truly becomes our everything, we will experience true contentment in every circumstance that may come our way.


Lord, I long to be content, but I never want to be comfortable. I don't want to settle for anything less than you. You have blessed me in so many ways that I don't deserve, and I am so thankful, but I never want anything to take place of you. Only through you will I experience true contentment and joy. You alone are my provider, my peace, my comfort, my strength, and my joy.


"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73: 23-28


Sunday, January 27, 2013

new things.

My life is about to get crazy. But it's a very good crazy!

I am taking on some new things, all of which I am very excited about.

Starting Monday, I will be taking a class. Now, I know it's just one class and that doesn't seem much. But I just looked at the syllabus for the course and I do believe it will keep me plenty busy! The reason I am taking just one class is because...well...it's free. :) If you don't know already, I plan to take Bible classes in the future. Starting date is still to be determined. I haven't completely settled on a specific school, but I have been looking into a bible college called Eternity Bible College. The school is in California, but they have a distance education program so I don't necessarily have to move to California. Although I would love to live in California I feel as though I am supposed to stay here for the time being. Anyway...I am very interested in this school and like what I have seen/read so far. Eternity does something really cool....they offer a course for free. And you get college credit for it. Pretty awesome! So I will be taking advantage of that this semester. After seeing the syllabus, I am actually happy I am taking just one class. This way I can get a good idea of what the course load would be like to see how many classes I think I can handle at one time along with my other "jobs". Also...it will probably be a big deciding factor on whether I will  end up taking classes there as a full-time student (via the distance program!).

As I was reading through my syllabus tonight, I had a huge smile on my face, and for me to have a huge smile on my face while reading a syllabus...that says a lot! But I was reading about assignments such as "Proverbs Project" and I can't help but smile. I realize these classes won't be all fun and blue skies and fluffy clouds all the time, it's going to be a lot of work and challenging in so many ways, but I look forward to the challenge. You know that feeling of doing something that you know for a fact you are supposed to be doing? When it feels so right? You feel you are right where you belong? That's how I feel right now. In this moment, this semester, this year, in everything I am doing...I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be right now for so many reasons. Notice that I am not putting a time limit on this? I feel as though I should clarify that! Who knows what the next two, three and five years will bring....I have absolutely no idea! Only the Lord knows. But for now, I am here and happy to be here!

Along with my class, the Lord has been opening up many doors for me at my church. I am loving it. He has confirmed over and over and over again why He brought me back to Chanute. He really does know best! Some of the things I am doing at my church are teaching the high school Sunday School class (starting tomorrow) so I am looking forward to that. I am starting up a small group in February which I have been in the process of for what seems like a long time so I am very excited about that! And of course, youth group which I am enjoying so very much.

Anyway, I just thought I would update you all on the happenings of my life....if anyone was wondering. And if you weren't, well, you are reading about it anyway. If you are looking for someone to pray for, you can pray for me! Pray that I won't lose my sanity in all of this! :) Lots of busy days are ahead so this semester will definitely be a time for me to focus on and improve my time management skills. I have to overcome my bad habit of procrastination that I have come to master over the years!

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always." Psalm 105:4

Through Christ's strength....that is the only way I will make it through this semester. The only way. I know I for sure do not have the strength to do it on my own!

'"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."' Matthew 11:28-30

I have a feeling these verses will be a couple of my theme verses that I will cling to this coming semester.

Lastly, a few weeks ago I was house sitting while it "snowed". It sleeted more than anything! But...I decided I would take pictures because who knows if we will get another snow! It is supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow...and it's January! Crazy! I would love just one good snow fall this year...that's all I ask! I'm not giving up just yet though....there is still a chance! But until then...here are some that I took just in case. Hopefully I will have more snow pictures to show you before winter is over! :)
I'm not normally one to take pictures of myself....but I did that day.

Even the cows were posing for the camera!

Snow/sleet!

Pretty.

My buddy Max playing fetch in the snow!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

turn that frown upside down.

 The other day I was texting a friend. She had a rough day and was sharing with me some things that happened, but then she shared with me something cool that happened in her day! I loved that, even though all these things went wrong there was something good. This was my response....Even on the rough days there is at least one positive, almost always. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder.

I believe this was a total God thing, because as I was typing it out, I'm thinking to myself...wow. Okay, God. You're right.

I think it can be so easy to get so caught up in the drama, the sickness, the financial struggles, the relationship problems, the loneliness, the never ending list of things to do, that we allow those things to take up our attention. We end up spending all of our precious time thinking and dwelling on the awful things that are going on in our life, our struggles, our worries, and everything that has gone wrong or differently than what we planned for ourselves. But the thing is, yes life is hard sometimes, but I think in those times it's more important than ever to look for the positive things, the good things.

I want to give you a challenge today. If you are one who is just having a bad day, nothing is going right and you are just feeling down, take the time to think about the good things in your life today! Search for the positive things! It seems to make the rough days a bit better, gives you something to smile about.

I don't know if you are familiar with the song 10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) by Matt Redman or not, but lucky for you I am posting the link for his music video below. :) Also I will include the lyrics since the video does not have them!



                                                  "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)"

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name

My favorite line of the whole song says this: "Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes." There are 10,00 reasons and more for us to sing praises to God and give Him thanks, no matter what we are going through. Whatever comes our way, He promises us that He will not leave us or forsake us. So whatever you are going through today, know and believe that you are not going through it alone. God, the Creator of the Universe, gladly walks with you through this thing called life but not because He needs you or me, but because He chooses us. He wants us! He loves us. He cares for us.

I was reading through the book of Psalm, browsing through looking for a Scripture to share with you (Psalm has hundreds and hundreds of verses about giving thanks and praise!) and came across this. Psalm 149:4 says "For the Lord takes delight in his people...". Read that again and take in what that really means. The Lord delights in you! The definition of delight is something that gives great pleasure; joy. You my friend, give the Lord great joy!!! How cool is that?! He love love loves spending time with you. He is waiting to hear from you.

I encourage you to have a heart to heart with God. Call out to Him. Draw near to Him and I promise He will draw near to you! Pour your heart out to Him, share your worries, your fears, your hardships. Let go and let God take care of it. Trust Him. 

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with you, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent." Psalm 30:11

Delight in Him because He delights in you!!! And when you are having a rough day, week, month, or year....look for the positives. Remember the good things in your life and give Him thanks and all the praise! "For all your goodness I will keep on singing, 10,000 reasons for my heart to find!"


Monday, January 7, 2013

december in pictures.

Since I haven't blogged for a while, I am going to show you what I have been up to via pictures the last couple of months.

The first part of December my family and I took a trip to Lawrence, KS. We went to celebrate my dad's 50th birthday. Last year, Devin and Kelli bought a ticket for a KU game for my dad for his birthday. This year...we joined him. Me, Devin, dad, Dustin and Chrissy all went to a KU game. It was my first game to ever go to! I was ecstatic! I loved every minute of it. Can't believe it took me 23 years to go to a game.


Before the game, these four ran in the Lawrence Jingle Bell Run!


At Allen Fieldhouse! So fun.




 Chrissy and I at our first KU games!
The guys.

The whole gang. Dustin, Chrissy, me, Devin, and Dad!

Allen Fieldhouse!!

Warm ups.

After we met up with Kelli, Brodi and Mom for a family picture.
Rock Chalk Jayhawk!

Celebrated Christmas with the family! We spent the day at home not doing a whole lot of anything. It was wonderful! This was Brodi's first Christmas. He loved it! It's hard to believe that Christmas Eve last year we got the exciting news that Devin and Kelli were expecting. What a blessing Brods has been! I don't remember what we did before Brodi...:)

Christmas Eve

Uncle Dusty and Brodi

Games on Christmas Eve

Christmas morning.

Kel and Brodi

My brothers.....this picture perfectly describes them. 

My favorite picture from the day :)

Siblings...and the baby...and the dog!

We spent a majority of the day playing marbles.

So fun.
The 28th was what is called The World Mission Summit (TWMS3...it's the third Summit, just in case you were wondering where the 3 came from!) World Mission Summit is a missions conference where Chi Alphas from all over the place come together. There is worship, speakers, and missionaries from all over the place! And as you have probably guessed....it's all about missions, which I loved. I enjoy anything that has to do with missions. If you have ever been to or heard about Urbana (another missions conference...I went to it 4 years ago!), the Summit is similar just on a smaller scale. Urbana there were around 18,000 people. The Summit there were about 4500 of us! But the other awesome part about the weekend was getting to spend time with some of my Topeka friends! :) I had a blast.

Leaving Topeka! 

Ari and I taking advantage of the empty bean bags. This was the only time they were not taken!

Andrew, Ari, me.

Eric and Erin.

Fort Worth! 

Ariona.

Last night at The Gathering.
They had what was called "Windows to the World". It was neat. Over the weekend I went to Africa, Europe and Eurasia. Africa showed a video, Europe was cool. We went to an "art gallery" and walked around there and then ended up in a different room where 4 different people from different ministries around Europe talked about what they are doing. We also sat with our "tour guide" (who are missionaries in Europe) and we got to talk to them about what they do and what life is like in Europe. It was cool. Our tour guide was awesome! We ran into her later and talked to her for probably 30-45 minutes! We also met her husband. I just met them, but they are awesome! I loved it.

Then we went to Eurasia. It was quite the experience. You had to have a passport to get in. The guy who I had to talk to saw my sticker for a ministry so he was questioning what I was doing there and if I believed in Jesus. He finally let me go and I made my way through. Phew. They did have a jail that they were throwing people in. One of my friends I met got her passport taken away and she was sent to jail. They wouldn't let her in. They did a really great job of making it seem so real! Anyways...as we were walking to where we were supposed to go, there were people grabbing you, trying to take your bag, shoving things in your face trying to get you to buy it....I have never been to Eurasia but I feel like I have been! haha. Oh and we had to wear head coverings and the guys had to wear hats.

Here are pictures from our trip to Eurasia! :)








As we arrived to Topeka on New Years Eve, it was snowing. The plan was for me to keep driving, but it was dark by the time we got to Topeka and I was afraid everything would start freezing over. So I decided it would be best to stay the night in Topeka. I ended up going to my friend Stefanie's house and staying the night there. It was a huge blessing, I had so much fun! I am so thankful her family let me come stay on such short notice! We ate dinner, talked a lot, played bananagrams (so fun!) and talked some more. It was a great way to ring in the new year! Thanks Stefanie! :)




And then there is Brodi! I haven't watched him in two weeks, so I'm in heaven today. (He is taking a nap now...playing with all of his new toys is exhausting!) Watching him is still the best job ever! I love being an aunt!!! I will leave you with this picture...Have a beautiful day!



Sunday, January 6, 2013

twenty thirteen.

I have started half a dozen blog posts, but they are all unfinished. I guess you could say writer's block? Can you get writer's block when you're not even a writer to begin with? Sometimes it makes me laugh that I have a blog because as you have probably figured out, I am no writer. And my grammar is terrible. I probably put commas in all the wrong places, use the wrong kind of to/too more often than not, and so on. But nonetheless, I have a blog. Anyway..

I don't know what the point was of that paragraph! I'm just rambling...that's what I do. Another reason it's funny that I have a blog. I tend to ramble. But now I am going to put an end to that and get on with the whole reason I am writing this blog post.

It's a new year as you all know...or at least I hope you do... and I have been pondering what my "word" or "theme" for the year should be. Now, I know that this is usually done before the new year begins, but friends...I am a little slow. I am starting the year behind...not exactly the best way to start but I am determined to turn that around and be on top of things! Which brings me to my word that the Lord keeps giving me to focus on this year..... intentional.

When people ask me how I'm doing, I find myself always responding, "I'm good, just busy." Every. Single. Time. I always feel behind. I feel overwhelmed. I feel so unorganized. And when I try to get organized, I get frustrated because I don't have a whole lot of room to get organized. And by that I mean, I am living back home in a very small room, and somehow while living in Topeka I managed to accumulate a lot of stuff. It's a task trying to find a place for everything.

I start out each day with the best of intentions to be productive and check things off my list of to-do's, but I feel as though each day passes and more things have only been added to the list than are taken off the list. And have you ever reached the point of having so much to do that you don't know where to even begin? Then you get discouraged and the day passes and you did nothing productive? Welcome to my life.

The days are quickly slipping away from me, one after the other. Before I know it a week has passed and then another. I am learning just how precious our short time here on Earth is. It's only but a second compared to eternity. And I don't want all of my days to go by wasted one after another. The thing is, time isn't going to get any slower. My life is always going to be busy. There will always be things happening. If anything, my life will only get busier and time will go quicker the older I get. That's what I hear anyway. Kind of frightening because it's already flying by!

So it's time to take control and be intentional with my time.

This year I want to focus on how and what I fill my time with.

-More Jesus time. That is my priority this year. Jesus. I want more of Jesus. Spending more quiet time in prayer with Him and getting into the Word every single day. I wish I could tell you I already did this, but I would be lying if I said I read the Bible every day. But, it's not even about reading my Bible every day just to read my Bible and say that I did it. I want to spend time in the Word studying it, reading it, praying it, memorizing it, and most importantly....living it out.

-Less me time. God is showing me how selfish I am with my time. I'm not saying it's bad to have "me time". It's a good thing, but it can quickly become a problem. Part of it, for me anyway, is laziness. I am just lazy sometimes. Sometimes -okay fine...way too often- I make deals with myself, "I'm going to watch this show now, and then I will do whatever it is I'm putting off. And then when then comes, something else has come up. And then it's time to go to sleep. Am I the only one who does this? Something tells me that I'm not, but maybe so. Either way, it's a problem and I need to stop. There will be days when I don't want to do anything, but I need to do it anyway. If I don't...I will never accomplish anything. I need to find a schedule that works for me and work on my time-management skills. But I need to STICK WITH IT! (That should also be another theme for this year...being intentional and sticking with the things that I commit too!)

-This goes along with what I said above, but I am giving it it's own spot. I will read the Bible in a year. I am determined to do it. I realize you have heard those words before though, unfortunately. I would say this time is going to be different, but I have said that before too. So if you could pray for me, that this be something that I can be intentional with and follow through on that would be great. Thanks!  I really really want to do it...to read the whole Bible. I have read quite a bit of it, but there are some books in the Old Testament that I have only read bits and pieces of. I pray that come this time next year I can honestly say, I have read the entire Bible, every word, front to back. Also...memorizing scripture. This is something I used to do but fell away from it. I definitely want to get back into the habit of doing that!

-Friendships/Relationships. I am always hesitant to put relationships because I don't mean just a relationship with a significant other. And not that I have one of those to work on/worry about anyway, but you just never know what could happen this year I suppose! But that is besides the point. I am going to stop myself now before I ramble anymore. So being intentional in relationships that I have. I have learned that friendships don't exactly happen on there own. You have to be in communication with the other person. This goes for friends, brothers, sisters, significant others, husbands, wives, children, cousins and on and on. If there is no communication, the relationship fades away. Not that you forget about that person or stop caring about them, but you just go your separate ways I guess. You become "acquaintances". All of this to say, it takes effort to keep a relationship healthy. In moving back to Chanute, I left an amazing group of friends, people who I plan to be friends with for the rest of my life. I have learned that as I get "busy" it's easy for time to pass by and before I know it, a week went by and I didn't attempt to call/text/email/write anyone to see how they are doing and what is happening in their life. Which is another way I have been selfish! But also, being intentional in the relationships that don't yet exist. Reaching out to people, connecting with people, building friendships with people.... Since moving back to Chanute, I have really been praying to find a group of friends to get connected with so this whole reaching out/connecting with people is a big thing for me now seeing as how I don't really know many people who are my age here. All of my close friends from high school have moved away! I'll be honest though...this is something I struggle with sometimes. I can be shy when I'm in a room full of people who I don't know. I know....hard to believe, right?! Everybody always says how quiet I was when they first met me and how they worried if I would come out of my shell or not. haha No worries...I do, just give me time! But...I have really come along way! The Lord is definitely helping me with that! But I'm not someone who can walk into a room not knowing anybody and walk out with 8 friends. (I don't know where the number 8 came from!) I need to pray for more courage and boldness I suppose! But also being intentional in the way of showing Christ's love to those that I come into contact with whether I'm at the grocery store, Wal-Mart, the post office, church, or the library. I don't want to be too rushed or too busy to have a conversation with someone, to be a listening ear to somebody needing to talk, to help someone, or to potentially make a new friend.

These are just a few things that the Lord has put on my heart to pray about and focus on this year. I know that life isn't going to come to a halt to let me get caught up and organized and planned out on how I am going to work on/get better/accomplish these things... If only it were that easy.

 But honestly, of all these things, I just want more Jesus. And I know I am repeating myself, but that is what it comes down to. More of Jesus. I want to give Him control of how and what I fill my time with. In some ways, I still like to have control and I don't think this is something I have every fully done....giving all of my time to God and say, "Lord, it's yours. What do you want my schedule to look like? What am I supposed to be doing with my time? What things do you want me to fill my time with? What things do I need to change?" Instead I kind of pick and choose what it is that I want to do and don't want to do. But I'm done with that. I want everything that I do to be for HIM (less of me). And that starts by abiding in Him, spending quality time with Him. Having His truth, His words written on my heart (memorizing scripture). I want to live and breathe for Him and Him alone. Everything else is just bonus, the sprinkles and cherry on top.

 When I begin doing that, my list of "to-do's" will turn into a list of things that I get to do. Isn't that a wonderful concept? Instead of, oh I have to go do this, and I have to be there for that later, and then after that I have another thing....it can get hectic and exhausting sometimes! But when you are abiding in the Lord and the things you are doing are to further His kingdom, to bring Him glory, it becomes more about Him and less about me. It becomes, I get to do that rather than I have to do that. And that doesn't necessarily mean it won't be hectic and it won't be exhausting, but I will be walking in His strength, His peace, and His joy, not my own.

What is your word for this year? If you don't have one, I encourage you to pray for one! Let this be a year of happiness, growth, and love! :)

Cheers to Twenty Thirteen!